Halloween

Preparing for a Homo Halloween

(As seen on GayLiving TV)

Well, boys and boys, the very first thing you have to do when you're preparing for a great Halloween celebration is to change into some old clothes - after all, this could well get kinda' messy!

Go into the kitchen - 'cos we're gonna be dealing with some really dirty old vegetables and we don't wanna make a mess all over the house - and then sit down and make yourself comfortable.

You'll need to be relaxed before we start the work.

And don't look so worried! This is gonna be fun.

Now, of course, like I said we're in the kitchen - and what with that itsy-bitsy boeuf en croute that's cooking in the oven, it's kinda hot in here.

So maybe it's a good idea to take off that vest (you know, the one from the Greenwich Village garage sale that you've never worn 'cos it looks kinda' queeny?)

Anyway, guys, let's get down to business.

First, you take a big, juicy pumpkin.

And then you take a sharp knife and cut a cute face in it.

There!

And this is what you get…

Of course, what with all that hard work in that steamy kitchen, maybe you're feeling a little hot'n'bothered by now?

No problem - after all, you gotta keep cool!

Oh, is that someone in the studio audience with a question over there?

Yes, sir - you in the rubber raincoat!

Oh, you want to see what kind of knife I used to cut the pumpkin?

Well, sir, I'm sorry but my glamorous assistant Troy has just taken it away to wash.

But maybe I've got something here that'll give you an idea.

You probably noticed it was a sort of Michael Myers type knife - very long and with a very fat blade.

A bit like this…

And now here's the really fun bit!

This is how you insert the knife into the pumpkin's flesh to cut out the shapes…

Of course, you've got to maintain all your kitchen equipment properly if it's gonna stay in tip-top condition.

That means keeping your knife well lubricated.

Here's the best way to do that…

And remember - it's really important to rub that stuff well in so you keep that blade well lubricated for future use. We all know how important that is, don't we, boys!

Finally, don't forget you need to store your knife properly.

Ideally, I recommend one of those wooden blocks that you slip it into.

But they can be expensive.

So, if you just can't afford one, be creative!

Really, any suitable hole will do…