Loren

Caligula's Roman Resort
"Our boys never decline and fall"

6 July 2003

Dear Sam

Let me be frank.

Loren was a disappointment.

A big disappointment.

And that was the whole point.

As you know, I've had very little trouble at all recruiting cute young slave boy types for my new-concept adult entertainment venture, but finding enough hot, hunky young guys to be gladiators, soldiers and guards - ready, willing and able to provide those of my guests who require it with regular and thorough servicing - has been more of a problem.

And as you are also aware, I had initially thought that Loren might be an answer to part of that difficulty.

I'd even got to the point of allocating him a new and more appropriate gladiatorial name - Spurtacus! (Pretty clever, huh?)

And I'd even got as far as organising his audition pictures - which, as you'll see, I had taken outdoors so as to emphasise Loren's/Spurtacus's tough, wild and rugged nature.

Yes, indeed - at first this boy seemed to fulfil all my requirements.

But, as it turned out in practice, that wasn't the case at all..

But before I get to that, take a look at one of the first few pics we took. I think it gives a good idea of the potential I saw in the boy.

OK, maybe Loren's not the prettiest kid on the block - though I know plenty of guys who'd just die for a long, slow, deep fuck from that blue-eyed Nordic type - but pretty's not what I'm looking for in my gladiators. What I need them to show is toughness and strength. In a word, manliness…

Which would be fine if Loren was a statue.

But when he moves…?

I should have guessed as soon as he stripped off.

Nothing at all wrong with his body - quite the contrary - but, but for someone who's supposed to be big, butch and manly he was just so coy…

And those boxer shorts he had on didn't exactly say Russell Crowe to me either…

Now I guess what I'd hoped a Spurtacus-like figure would do, once he'd taken off his clothes, would be to shove his rampant dick roughly into your face and demand to be taken care of - or else he'd thrust you face down over a nearby log, gob a wad of spit onto his tool (if you're lucky!) and spear your ass like there's no tomorrow.

And is that what Loren did?

See for yourself…

We had a little fashion show to begin…

Then a little bit of ballet - very artistic…

And then Loren decided to show us what he claimed was his best feature - and the one he told us he enjoyed using the most…

And, completely misunderstanding what I'd been hoping to get out of him, he proceeded to show me how he loved using it by lubing up a convenient little twig on a tree stump and impaling himself on it!

And speaking of little, Loren's not best blessed in the dick department, is he?

Well, Sam, as you can guess, I was pretty pissed by now - but was Loren perceptive enough to work that out?

Hell, no.

He just insisted on thanking me for the opportunity of working at Caligula's.

But, in spite of everything, he will be working here - because as yet there's one particular job still unfilled.

Now, Sam, as you know, at Caligula's we're doing our very best to provide the most authentic historical experience we can.

And the Ancient Romans, as you probably don't know, didn't use toilet paper.

Instead, they wiped their asses with sponges.

Re-usable ones.

Which means someone's gotta have the job of washing them…

Guess who!

Must dash now - got a few Christians to feed to the lions (only joking!)

With best wishes

Caligula