Cameron

This site's got members all over the world.

But, like almost everywhere else on the internet, its language is English.

So, just to show you how cosmopolitan we are today, I'm going to be introducing a little German.

And, no, I don't mean some cute young Teutonic kid called Helmut or Hans or Hermann - I mean a little bit of the German language.

But don't worry! It's just one word -

Schadenfreude.

There, wasn't that great?

In case you don't speak the lingo, that's pronounced sha-den-froy-da - emphasis on the first syllable.

And what does it mean?

Well, it's hard to explain unless I give you an example.

A guy slips on a banana skin and falls flat on his back. He's probably hurt himself pretty bad - in reality he's had a very nasty fall - and yet still we laugh.

That's Schadenfreude.

Laughing at someone else's embarrassment or misfortune.

We do it all the time, don't we?

Even giving someone a nickname is, I guess, a mild form of it.

After all, even if it's appropriate, do you really want to go through life as Baldy, Shorty or Fatty?

Or even Wiener Dick?

I'm reminded of all this by my friend Cameron.

A few years ago I used to spend quite a bit of time with him.

We were both part of a gang of about six or eight young gay kids who used to hang out with each other all the time.

And, like all kids that age, we were always goofin' around together.

Cameron, in particular, was always ready for a laugh.

Though, on the day I'm gonna tell you about, the laugh was sure on him.

We'd gone to the lake outside of town.

We were all drinking cans of Bud - and I guess we all got a bit carried away.

Steve and Adam went off for a "walk" in the woods nearby.

Eric and his boyfriend Marc started making out right there on the lakeside.

Terry and I just sat nearby dishing the dirt on everyone we knew.

But Cameron - who was so sporty and straight looking that it shocked everyone when they first found out he was gay - went into the water.

And, as he's never a boy to do anything by halves, he'd brought along the full diving gear for the afternoon too.

God knows what he hoped to see down there…

Dumped car wrecks…

Old refrigerators that folks couldn't be bothered to take just a mile or so down the road to the recycling plant…

Or, if he was real lucky, the huge stash of porn that our class teacher Mr Summers was supposed to have dumped there just before he'd left town in a real hurry.

I guess that pissed him off. And that - as well as the effect of the beer - had something to do with what happened next.

'Cos instead of just getting changed - which would, admittedly, have been a pretty fun thing to watch in itself - Cameron decided to put on a show for us.

A bit of a striptease.

Well, I guess we all thought that was pretty entertaining - though, as we'd grown up together, we'd all pretty much seen it before in the school locker rooms.

But Cameron was determined to hold our attention now that he'd finally got it.

And he decided that the best tactic was - to start off with at least - to be as gross as possible.

After all, divers are probably into other water sports too, doncha' think?

 Our outraged queeny screams soon brought Steve and Adam back from the woods.

And, as Cameron continued his drunken performance, they too could hardly believe their eyes.

There was something for everyone.

Cameron knew that Marc liked hot butts…

…but whether he needed such extreme close-ups was more debatable.

Terry, on the other hand, had all the makings of a tip-top size queen.

So Cameron made sure there was something for him to enjoy too.

Of course, once he'd got himself so worked up, Cameron just had to continue to the inevitable climax (!)

As he sat there on the banks of the lake, steadily jerking off, we all started to whistle, holler and rhythmically clap along with his performance.

It might have put anyone else right off their stroke, as it were, but Cameron was so far gone that you'd swear he wasn't noticing what we were doing.

In fact, he was got carried away that he screwed his eyes right up.

A bad mistake.

The second he did that, Eric picked up Cameron's discarded face mask and shoved it on the ground right under the kid's dick.

With inevitable results.

Was Cameron fazed?

Was he going to be upstaged? Made a fool of?

Not a bit of it.

He had one final party trick up his sleeve.

 But remember Schadenfreude?

Cameron may have thought he'd been the star of the show.

But after that one afternoon he'd be destined to have an embarrassing nickname for the rest of his life - at least among those in the know…

One that would always remind us - and him - of just how gross he'd been that afternoon at the lake.

Cummer-on.