Bryan

29 July 2002

Dear Kevin

Thanks very much for your letter. It was good to hear from you and to know that all's well in the Big Apple.

Down here in my new home in the Big Coconut (as we residents call it - but it's the Republic of Columbia to you!) I'm settling in pretty nicely but there's so much work still to do.

Sometimes, in fact, I wonder how I can physically fit it all in.

No, Kevin - I don't mean that! (Although, of course, a tear still comes to my eye when I recall that mega-hung Brazilian stud you and the guys hired me for my 30th birthday… Come to think of it, a tear or two came to my eye that night as well - he certainly was a big boy!)

No, what I mean is that sometimes I wonder how I fit in everything that has to be done during the day.

I may not be a Wall Street wage slave any more. But, just because I've given up the 9-to-5 of the office and live here in a tropical paradise, doesn't mean there isn't any work involved.

If you'd only seen the state of this place when I moved in, you'd realise what I've achieved in such a short time.

I've got a proper water supply pumped in now (the vodka's coming on tap later, dear!)

I've put on a new roof (all ready for you and the guys to raise when you come down for a visit).

I've had the pool cleaned out (you wouldn't want to know what we found in there!)

And in the past few days I've been re-equipping the kitchen (from bog standard to Bosch standard).

But enough of this domestic stuff.

I know that you and the rest of the guys would be happy to stay in a mud hut - as long as it had one particular feature.

The one which, as I told you in my last letter, my house certainly has…

Hot and cold running boys.

Actually, now that I look at it written down, that's a pretty misleading statement.

They're aren't any cold ones.

And they're certainly not running - unless it's in this direction.

I know you won't believe it about a confirmed New York butterfly like me, but I'm actually pretty well settled down right now.

It's with the boy I found sleeping on the roof terrace on the day I first came to look at the house.

Robin.

I'm sure you liked those photographs I showed you.

But as I said at the time, Robin has lots of friends who are always dropping by the house.

Sometimes it's just to use the pool - but sometimes it's to see if they can make a buck or two from the "rich Yankee owner" and his friends (odd that they're always men!) who fly down for the weekend.

I've picked out one of the boys that I think you'll really like.

Bryan.

(He's really José. But the problem is that well over half the kids here seem to be called José - so I just give them other names so I can tell one from the other. And this one's Bryan.)

When I told Bryan all about you, he was really interested.

(But don't get too excited, Kevin: I think it was when I told him you were a top dealer in precious gems that I got his undivided attention!)

Anyway, every since then Bryan's been going on and on about me taking a few pictures of him to send you in the hope that you'll be ordering the Lear jet off the tarmac for a flight down. (Forgive me for embellishing it a bit here: even a seat in business class doesn't quite have the same ring to it.)

So here they are.

He's real cute I think. And just your type - a bit like that Latino bell boy in Los Angeles who got fired when he took two hours "helping you take your luggage to your room".

Bryan looks even better when he takes off his cap and his shirt, don't you think?

And, boy, does he push the temperature right up when he gets ready for an afternoon by my pool…

But, though Bryan may look oh-so-innocent and give the impression that butter wouldn't melt in his mouth, in fact he's not dumb.

Not at all.

He knew right away (and not just because I told him!) that, if a kid's going to persuade a guy like you to fly down and meet him for the weekend - and maybe bring a diamond or two as a gift! - then he's gotta put some of his own jewels on display first.

And, as you can see, he didn't mind that one bit…

And he was pretty OK, too, when I told him that you might have some special requirements…

So, all in all, Kevin, I think I've done the best I can for you.

Bryan is here.

He is ready…

He is certainly willing…

And he is most definitely able…

Let me know when your plane gets in to Bogata and I'll send Bryan over to pick you up.

I just know I'll be seeing you very soon…

Al