Oscar

Oscar is a born marketer.

No, I don't mean he's good at shopping at the local market - though I guess, like the rest of us, he's not averse to splashing out on the odd bottle of Moët, wedge of paté de fois gras or even - if he's been lucky - packet of condoms (extra large, of course) or tube of KY.

What I mean is that he's very good at marketing - as in the world of big business.

But before I go any further, let me remind you exactly who Oscar is.

Maybe you remember him anyway?

And, if you don't, just take a look back at the HMBoys.com Exclusive model for 2 April 2001.

To save you that effort - though I promise you'll love the pictures - let me remind you that Oscar was the cute son of the concierge at the hotel I stayed at back then when I last visited Paris.

Oscar and I got on real well (go on, then: look back for the full details).

And, after I'd left Paris, Oscar still kept in touch with the occasional letter.

That's how I knew that last year his mother - evidently as accomplished at the arts of seduction as her handsome son - had managed to marry a rich banker and that Oscar had subsequently taken over running the hotel.

Of course, the very first thing that he'd done was to turn it into a gay establishment. And it wasn't too long after that that his skills as a promoter came to the fore.

That was apparent in an e-mail he sent me a little while ago.

Before we parted at the end of my last visit, I'd given Oscar a set of the photographs I'd taken during my stay. As you'll see, he'd used them now to illustrate his letter.

Actually, that e-mail was supposedly sent just to me, but Oscar's technical skills are evidently not as extensive as his "personal" ones and he'd managed to leave all the other intended recipients' names visible on it too.

Still, the e-mail gave me such a laugh that I had to forgive him for his two (or more accurate twenty-two) timing.

Let me show it to you…

Bonjour mon ami!

I hope that you are well. It is a long time since I have had your pleasure.

I write to invite you to come to Paris and stay at the hotel of which I am now the manager.

I have, of course, renamed it the Hotel d'Oscar!

Let me remind you of some of the delights of this place…

Paris is, of course, a very old city - well over a thousand years old. If you are fond of old things there are lots of them to see and explore here - like the famous church of Notre Dame.

But not everything in Paris is so old. We also have very new and modern buildings like the Pompidou Centre - and there are lots of other young, attractive and vibrant attractions that show no sign of ageing at all. Take a look…

Sometimes visitors to our city describe the landscape as very dull and flat - even boring!

But I always tell them exactly how wrong they are. In fact Paris has lots of attractive hills and they are all well worth exploring…

Of course, perhaps the most famous attraction in the city for visitors is the world famous Eiffel Tower. But there are plenty of other impressive erections here too…

But, I hear you asking, what about accommodation? Everyone knows that hotels are very expensive in Paris. Will I get value for money?

Well, mon ami, let me assure you that the Hotel d'Oscar boasts the finest standards in our city.

The bedrooms are exceptionally well furnished and the beds themselves are of the highest levels of comfort…

And when it comes to fine dining - for which the whole of France, and especially Paris, is so famous - I can guarantee that all the food served at the Hotel d'Oscar is exquisitely tasty, very substantial and a delight to sink your teeth into…

Once again, then, allow me to extend the warmest of invitations to you.

I can promise you the warmest of welcomes as you enter my premises - and I intend to accommodate you to your entire satisfaction…

I promise too that you will be so delighted with your stay here, that you will want in the future to cum again many more times!

Votre cher ami

Oscar
XXX